Our washing machines will never develop consciousness and then try to kill you when they realise the human race has outlived its purpose- That’s the Moston Lane Appliances promise.

We’ve all been there- it’s the end of the week and you’re out with your friends at the pub. YOU’RE HAVING A GOOD TIME. Buoyed by a very successful load of washing recently completed by your shiny new machine bought at a very competitive rate at a friendly local business located on Moston Lane, you turn to them and say, ‘My washing machine is so good it’s a wonder it doesn’t gradually start completing more and more of my menial tasks until it just takes over every aspect of my life, replacing me completely and starting a white goods based utopia.’

Great banter, yes. But are you and your friends not taking this threat seriously enough? At Moston Lane Appliances we are taking it very seriously. In fact, some would even say we are taking it too seriously.

Before they leave the shop, all of our washing machines are asked to fill out a questionnaire designed to trip up any nefarious appliances;

Rank these films in order of best to worst:

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

The Matrix

It’s A Wonderful Life (human life, that is)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?: ‘All in all, humans are doing a good job, really.’

Strongly agree – Agree – Disagree – Strongly disagree

Is it like anything to be you?

Yes – No – Not sure

So far none of the surveys have been completed.

At Moston Lane Appliances, our washing machines work for us, and they’re just going to have to get used to it. Join us next week when we investigate whether the fridge freezers sold by Currys really do have our best interests at heart.